A common misconception is that perfect marriages exist. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. When people decide to take that next step together, there is always that risk that their marriage may end in divorce. The following is why people divorce and what you can do to prevent it from happening to you.
1. Why People Divorce: Physical and Emotional Affairs
Affairs is the number one reason for divorce. Everyone is capable of feeling temptations. Even happily married couples can be attracted to the opposite sex from time to time.
People who acknowledge those feelings as normal and healthy and let them go have a better chance of resisting an affair.
So, what triggers an affair?
Temptation can be found anywhere. If you spend more time with the opposite sex away from your spouse and, resisting an affair may become harder. A platonic relationship with the opposite sex, whether a friend or co-worker can turn into something much more. Temptation leads to infidelity and infidelity is one of the biggest reasons why people divorce.
Emotional intimacy, familiarity with someone you work with or have common goals with can become more irresistible than your marital relationship, especially if you’re having conflicts at home.
It is possible to maintain a good friendship with the opposite sex, just make sure you set limits and boundaries to avoid any future temptation that may rise.
Another reason why people have an affair is because their emotional needs are not being met. An emotional affair can be just as painful as a physical affair. Taking your spouse for granted can lead to emotional needs not being met.
Women who feel under appreciated by their husband and men who feel they can’t do anything right to make their wives happy have greater chance of having an affair.
If your marriage is all work and no play, risk for an affair is greater. Life can get busy, with work, school, children and so forth, so it’s really important that you and your spouse spend quality time together. This doesn’t mean you have to spend all your free time with your spouse, you still can have quality time for yourself. Just keep in mind a marriage will thrive and grow if you set aside time to spend with your significant other.
2. Why People Divorce: Communication and Resentment
Like any other relationship, communication is vital for it to thrive. Before marriage, if you and your partner communicate pretty well with one another, then chances are when you get married communication won’t be a problem.
Many couples out there lack strong communication skills and it’s important to develop those skills before you get married. If the way you communicate is filled with criticism, accusations and poor listening skills, you’re setting up a stage for a failed marriage.
When your marriage worsens due to poor communication, resentment towards your spouse may come in. All your negative feelings towards your spouse, including blame and disappointment will continue to build. If you don’t do something about those feelings, resentment towards your spouse will be inevitable. This will ruin a marriage.
3. Why People Divorce: Growing Apart
A marriage will either grow or weaken. If you don’t work on maintaining your marriage than your are allowing it to deteriorate. If you and your spouse are not communicating, not loving and caring towards each other and not spending time together, than you are going to grow apart. This is why people divorce.
Growing together doesn’t mean not fighting, or thinking alike, or avoiding conflicts. Growing together means changing together. A good and healthy marriage is when you and your spouse change together.
This means keeping the lines of communication open and being honest with each other as “Life” happens. Share your thoughts, feelings and hopes together. Do new activities or hobbies together, keep your love alive by finding new passions together.
Some people worry when their spouse wants to go in a different direction, because they worry that their spouse is unhappy with how things are. When this happens, make sure you reassure your spouse, no matter which direction you’re going in life, make sure your spouse is involved.
Change can be scary, but if you continue to communicate honestly and make compromises as life goes on, change can be a great thing.
Marriage takes commitment, compromises , communication and handwork. So when you find your relationship with your spouse crumbling, keep these 3 things in mind to prevent your marriage from deteriorating and ending up in divorce. Begin right now and save your marriage before it’s hit a point of no return.
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